Before the landing, passengers heard four loud booms coming from the right engine. You know what else makes boom noises? Police Academy‘s Michael Winslow. Where was Michael Winslow that day? And, while we’re at it, what happened to the guy who played Commandant Lassard?

De wereldatlas van The Onion

Netherlands  – Where Everything Is Legal
Facts About Netherlands:
OFFICIAL NAME
Kingdom Of The Netherlands

UNOFFICIAL NAME
That Totally Crazy Place With The Hookers In The Windos

EXPORTS
Fruits, vegetables, fish products

EXPORTS VIA THE HUMAN RECTUM
Marijuana, clear plastics

Meer pret met en over Nederland trouwens op dit ansichtkaartje.

Sarah Palin, Head Of Skate (the Disney Movie)

(via)

RE: From the Office of His Royal Majesty King Paulson

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a
transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had
crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion
dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most
profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my
replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may
know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the
1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds
as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names
of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family
lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person
who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account
numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to
wallstreetbailout[nospam-﹫-backwards]yrusaert*gov so that we may transfer your commission for
this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with
detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the
funds.

Yours Faithfully

Minister of Treasury Paulson

700.000.000.000 dollar, dat is 2000 keer appeltaart voor elke Amerikaan:

Arvo Brothers: the doll

(via Klocki)

• Is het woord ‘vader’ ouder dan ‘moeder’? (Ja.)
• Kennen we het woord ‘februari’ zo lang als we ‘april’ kennen? (Nee.)
• Is het woord ‘thee’ ouder dan ‘koffie’? (Nauwelijks.)

Deze vragen zijn afkomstig uit de Taalpost-mailing van vandaag. Citaat:

U kunt de antwoorden op zulke vragen zelf opzoeken, en lezen hoe we dat weten, in het Chronologisch Woordenboek van Nicoline van der Sijs. Het boek is nu integraal en gratis te raadplegen via internet, dankzij de Digitale bibliotheek voor de Nederlandse letteren. Het geeft een datering van ruim 18.000 woorden. Daarnaast is er een hoofdstuk over de herkomst van Nederlandse woorden, een hoofdstuk met thematische lijsten (namen voor beroepen, groenten, kleuren …), een chronologische woordenlijst en een alfabetische.

The Onion meldt:

ORLANDO—Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist and SeaWorld main attraction Michael Phelps returned to his seven-million-gallon water tank Wednesday to resume his normal schedule of performing in six shows a day for marine park crowds every day of the week.

spaarstaart
spartelvers
klimaaltijd
glitterhoed
zintuigloos
vloekzoeker
armendokter

Precies! Ze zijn allemaal elfletterig.

(via)

Despite the provocative title of the speech you proposed, ”When Doves Cry”, we are not in the habit of hiring speakers who are not ornithologists. But frankly, Mr. Prince, your androgynous, highly charged sexuality hypnotized us. We went crazy; you were a star; we wanted you to take us with you. Also, as you know, we were all quite fond of your father, Tubold. Knowing how rigorous Tubold’s academic standards were, we thought his son would be just as thorough and insightful. But you are not like your father, Tubold.

A Letter to Prince Regarding the Crying  of Doves.